Crushed by My Girlfriend's Rigged Dice

We can't settle on our holiday plans, so my girlfriend, Janine Simpson, starts a group chat with the three of us. "Let's roll the dice. Whoever gets the highest number decides. That's the fairest way." My friend, Mitchell Stone, rolls a six and wants to go to Marisport. I roll a one. I wanted to go to Rosemont. Rosemont isn't a random pick. It's the place my late mother had always wanted to visit but never got the chance to. This year marks five years since she passed away, and I've promised her I would see Lake Azure for her. Janine knew that, too. Three months ago, she held my hand and promised she would go with me this year. "Fair's fair. You lost the bet." She sends a little pat-on-the-head sticker in the group chat. This is the 27th time this year that I've rolled a one. The week before, I'd lost when we were choosing a restaurant for our team dinner. The week before that, it was a movie. Then yesterday, I used Janine's tablet to look up travel guides and accidentally came across her synced text messages. Her chat with a friend sat right at the top. "I sent you the dice plugin. It can roll whatever number you want." "Thanks. Cameron can get quite stubborn. This is the only way to get him to agree to things." I stared at those messages for a long time and placed the tablet back where I found it. She has known all along what Rosemont meant to me, and it turns out I haven't been losing because of sheer bad luck. I've been losing because she has already taken someone else's side. I leave the group chat and book a direct flight to Rosemont. On the first day of the holiday at 7:00 am, I will board the plane alone. Chapter 1 Janine Simpson came out of the bathroom, towel-drying her hair, and glanced at me. "Done with the itinerary? Mitchell just sent a few more popular restaurants. Add them to the plan, will you?" "Forget it," I said calmly, keeping my eyes on her. Her hands stopped. "What do you mean?" "Nothing. I'm just a little tired and want to rest." I turned toward the closet and started looking through my clothes. She came over and wrapped her arms around my waist from behind. "Okay, you can rest. I'll have Mitchell handle the itinerary." She rested her cheek against my shoulder. "Cheer up, okay? Tomorrow, I'll stop by the mall after work and get you that pair of noise-canceling headphones you've been eyeing. Take that as compensation, alright?" Janine was always like this. She would hurt me first, then offer me something sweet, as if a few little gestures and a bit of compensation would make me swallow my hurt like I used to. I gently pulled myself out of her arms. "No, thanks." The next evening, Janine came home carrying several large shopping bags. She dropped them onto the couch and beckoned me over like a kid showing off a prized gift. "Cameron, come see what I got you." I walked over and saw that the bags were filled with sunscreen, sun hats, and a few brightly colored beach shirts—everything one would need for a beach trip. "Mitchell said this brand of sunscreen is really good, so I picked up a set for you too." As she spoke, she pulled out a red beach shirt and held it up against me. "You're going to look great in this in pictures. I'll take plenty of photos of you guys when we're there." My eyes fell on the tag. It read "L". I was six feet tall and always wore a size XL. Mitchell Stone, on the other hand, had a slimmer build and wore a size L. "It's too small for me," I said flatly. Janine froze for a second, glanced at the tag, and then laughed it off. "Haven't you lost some weight lately? It's a loose fit. You'll fit just fine. Besides, Mitchell wears a size L. If it doesn't fit you, just give it to him. I'll get you a new one." The matter-of-fact way she said it left me too exhausted even to get upset. Was this her idea of making it up to me? Buying the brand Mitchell liked, picking out clothes in his size, and then calling them gifts for me? Just then, her phone lit up. It was a voice message from Mitchell. I didn't bother, but Janine had already picked up her phone. As she played the message on speaker, his deliberately softened voice filled the living room. "Nini, I'm so looking forward to this trip to Marisport. Cameron's compromising for me this time, so make sure you take good care of him afterward." Janine tapped the voice-message button and replied in a gentle voice, "Oh, he understands. Just make sure you pack your own things." After sending it, she turned to me. "See how thoughtful Mitchell is? He even knows to look out for you." I looked at her. All of a sudden, the woman I had been in love with for seven years felt terrifyingly foreign. I said nothing and walked into the bedroom. I pulled out a small carry-on bag and started packing everything I would need for Rosemont—a warm jacket, a waterproof shell, and a comfortable pair of sneakers. Janine followed me into the bedroom and looked puzzled. "Why are you bringing clothes that heavy to Marisport? It's still hot there." "I get cold easily," I answered without looking up. "Well, suit yourself. Just don't complain about how heavy it is later on." She shrugged and turned to pack her 28-inch suitcase, stuffed with snacks, first-aid medicine, and all kinds of beach essentials she had bought for Mitchell. I quietly watched her busy herself. She zipped up the packed suitcase, filled with everything they would need for the beach. That night, I opened our joint travel fund account and turned off the automatic transfers. Chapter 2 The following evening, I attended an industry networking event with Janine. When we pulled up outside the venue, Mitchell came running over from the roadside. "Nini, can I go in with you guys? I was going to wait around nearby, but there's not much to do by myself." Before he could finish, Janine had already unlocked the car door. "Get in. This will be a good chance for you to see how things work." I sat in the passenger seat, the seat belt pressing tightly against my chest. "He's coming too?" She turned her head toward me. "We're already here. I can't leave him waiting outside by himself, can I?" Mitchell leaned forward from the back seat. "If it's inconvenient, I won't go. I heard Mr. Langford will be there, and I thought I could ask if his company is still hiring." He had recently lost his job and was applying everywhere. Janine had already promised to put in a good word for him. I had barely managed a response when she answered for me. "It's fine. Cameron always knows how to put the bigger picture first." What an oddly specific thing to say. My chest tightened at that. When we arrived, I spotted Richard Langford. "We should talk to him about our project first." I had barely taken a step when Mitchell suddenly tugged at Janine's sleeve. "Isn't he kind of hard to approach? I'm a little nervous. Could you come with me, Nini?" She looked at him, then at me. "Cameron, can you get to our table first?" "Sure." "Wait for me." With that, she walked away with Mitchell. I stood there, my fingers slowly curling into fists. More and more people soon gathered around Mr. Langford. Meanwhile, Janine was off to the side, teaching Mitchell how to hand out business cards, how to address people, and how to keep a conversation going by picking up on what the other person said. She had taught me those same tricks once. At my first networking event, Janine held my hand and said, "Relax. I'll help you get to where you want." Now, she left me standing there while she took Mitchell over. After a while, they finally came back. "Why are you still standing here? I thought I told you to go inside first," Janine said. I replied, "I haven't gotten a chance to speak with Mr. Langford yet." "Do that later. The event's not over yet." Just then, Mr. Langford's assistant came over. "Ms. Simpson, Mr. Langford has to leave in 15 minutes. He's agreed to hear one more project pitch in the meeting room. Have you decided who will go?" I froze. "Only one more?" He nodded. "His schedule is packed. He can only spare another 15 minutes." I had spent two months preparing for those 15 minutes and even turned down offers from other companies. Mitchell glanced toward Mr. Langford. "You should go, Cameron. You've been preparing for this for so long. I only wanted to ask about the job." I was about to speak when Janine pulled out her phone and opened the dice app. "You both want to see him, so let's do it the old-fashioned way. Whoever rolls higher gets to go." I stared at her. "I scheduled this meeting in advance." "But he'll only see one person. And Mitchell really needs this job right now." "So you're giving him my opportunity?" "I'm not giving anything to anyone. Rolling the dice is the fairest way." My eyes fell on the screen. That dice plugin was hidden behind an ordinary calculator app, exactly like the one I had seen on her tablet. "I'm not rolling," I said. Janine frowned. "Don't make a scene here, Cameron." "This isn't a game." "Do you really have to make things awkward for everyone?" Before I could say more, she tapped the dice for me. It rolled a few times before stopping on one. Without any surprise, Mitchell got a six, just like the previous 27 times. She put her phone away. "There we have it. Mitchell goes." I stared intently at her. "Are you sure, Janine?" She avoided my eyes, pretending not to hear me. "We all agreed on the rules. Don't go back on them now." "I never agreed to this." Chapter 3 Mitchell waved frantically. "No, no. Cameron should go." "That's enough," Janine said impatiently. "We can't keep changing the rules, and he can't throw a fit every time things don't go the way he wants." By then, people around us started glancing our way. "Cameron, stop it right now," Janine hissed. "You know how important this meeting is to me." "You'll have plenty of other opportunities." Mr. Langford's assistant glanced at the time. "Ms. Simpson, please decide now." Without asking me again, Janine took Mitchell straight toward the meeting room. I stood there, watching the door close in front of me. A little over ten minutes later, Mitchell came out. Mr. Langford had already left through another exit. Janine got a cup of warm milk from the refreshment table and handed it to me. "Have some. Your stomach's too sensitive to take alcohol on an empty stomach." I took the cup. She remembered my stomach issue, yet somehow forgot why I had come here in the first place. "You still care about me, don't you?" I asked. She froze momentarily. "Of course I do." "Then why did you give away my opportunity to him?" "Cameron, it's just a meeting. You already know plenty of people here. Mitchell doesn't even have a job." I scoffed. "So because he needs it more, I'm supposed to give up my opportunity for him?" "You're in a much better position than he is. What's wrong with giving him one of your chances?" I set the cup of milk down on the table beside me. "Janine, you talked about fairness earlier." She nodded. "I did." "Is it still fair if the game was rigged from the start?" Her face fell. "What do you mean?" "Nothing." I didn't expose her right there. It suddenly occurred to me that even if I showed her the chat logs, she would only say she had done it for everyone's sake. I pulled up the contact I had added that afternoon for a possible transfer. Their message was still there. [There's an opening at our Rosemont branch. You could start after the holiday. If you're interested, I can put your name down for the position.] I replied, [Please do. Thanks.] After sending it, I deleted Janine's name from my emergency contacts. … Two days before the trip, Janine started packing again. She put sunscreen, a light jacket, and mosquito patches into her suitcase one by one. "Marisport gets really sunny, and Mitchell's skin is prone to allergic reactions. I've packed everything he'll need. Don't forget to remind him to apply his medication at night." I was sorting through my documents when I heard that. My hand stopped in mid-air. "You remember his medication better than he does." Janine lowered her head and fastened her suitcase. "He hasn't been doing well lately, and it's his first time going to Marisport. I just picked everything up while I was at it." "I thought he booked his own room." "He said he didn't feel comfortable staying by himself, so I canceled his room and upgraded us to a two-bedroom suite. It'll be more convenient if we stay together." I looked up at her. "Wasn't this supposed to be a trip for just the two of us?" She paused. "It's just one extra person. It'll be more fun that way." As she spoke, she opened the cabinet and pulled out my favorite snacks. "Got you your favorites. I'll put them in the car and give them to you on the way." I looked at the suitcase by her feet. There were no sugar-free drinks or wrist braces for me. Instead, she had packed two bags of the fruit gummies Mitchell liked. At night, Janine suddenly said, "I know we're supposed to set our wedding date during the trip, but let's do it after we get back." "What about Rosemont?" "We'll go next time." "When will the things I want finally matter?" The warmth on her face slowly faded. "Cameron, do you have to bring this up over dinner?" "You brought up the wedding first." "I only said we'd talk about it once we get back. I never said we weren't getting married," she said, frowning. "But you couldn't even respect where I wanted to go for the holiday." "It's just a trip. Getting married is what really matters." She nudged the bowl toward me. "Stop making a fuss and drink your soup." As I watched the steam rise from the bowl, I couldn't taste a thing. … After dinner, Janine got a call from work and had to go back to the office to pick up a document. Before she left, she glanced at the suitcases by the door. "Just clear your thoughts and get some sleep. I'll be back as soon as I grab the document." Once the door closed behind her, I opened the closet and packed my ID, bankbooks, and a few changes of clothes into an old suitcase. I moved slowly. Part of me was afraid she would suddenly walk back through the door. Another part was afraid she wouldn't notice what I was doing at all. A framed photo of us at the beach sat on the nightstand. In it, she had an arm around my shoulders, beaming earnestly. I turned the frame face down on the table. My phone chimed. Janine had texted. [Don't forget to get Mitchell some motion-sickness medicine tomorrow. He said he's run out at home.] I stared at it for a long time before replying, [Buy it yourself.] Chapter 4 At 4:30 am on the first day of the holiday, Janine's phone rang. She glanced at it and sat up immediately. I woke up too, but I stayed still. "Don't panic, Mitchell. I'll be right there," Janine soothed. She hung up and started getting dressed. I rose from the bed. "I thought we were leaving at 6:30 am." "His migraine is acting up, and he has too much luggage to carry downstairs by himself. He can't get a ride at this hour either." "Tell him to ask the guesthouse to arrange a pickup." "There's no time to arrange it now." She grabbed the car keys and headed for the door, then turned back to me. "Head to the airport first. Wait for me in the lounge once you get there. I'll head over as soon as I pick him up." I looked at her. "You're going to pick him up?" "It's just a quick detour. I'll be right behind you." "He's on the south side of town, while the airport's in the opposite direction." Janine's hand rested on the doorknob. "Cameron, can we please not worry about this right now?" I stopped talking. She came over, kissed my forehead, and straightened my collar. "Don't forget to eat breakfast, okay? Once we land, I'll take you to that famous seafood restaurant. My treat." The first time we traveled together, my blood sugar dropped. I nearly passed out, but she supported me through the station and even called over a staff member to help. Since then, she had always remembered to have candy with her whenever we went out. This time, she simply left me a "my treat" and told me to go to the airport alone. "Janine." The door was already half-open. She turned back. "Yeah?" I wanted to ask her if Mitchell and I ever needed her at the same time today, would she still choose him, like she did every other time? When the words reached the tip of my tongue, I swallowed them back. "Be careful on the road." She smiled. "Text me when you get there." The door closed, and the apartment fell silent again. I picked up my black suitcase and walked to the entryway. The other suitcase, packed for Marisport, sat by the door, with a bottle of sunscreen sticking out of it. I didn't take anything that belonged to her. I left the spare key on the shoe cabinet. Beside it was the ring I had planned to give her during the trip, when we talked about setting a wedding date. I closed the ring box and placed it beside the key. After taking one last look around the apartment we had lived in for three years, I turned off the lights and carried my suitcase downstairs. At 5:45 am, I got into a taxi to the airport. At 5:58 am, Janine texted me. [Got him. We're heading over now.] I didn't reply. At 7:00 am, the plane took off. The clouds padded the sky beneath the window. I switched off my phone and stopped waiting for her next message.