My Mother Sent Me To The Mental Asylum

After being locked up in the mental asylum for 99 days, I was given an early discharge due to improved conditions. After my mother found out, she said coldly, “I won’t pick you up! I’m the head of the psychiatry department. If I personally pick you up, what would others think of me? “Let me tell you the truth. I signed the papers to have you committed. “Sally did slap you first, yet you pushed her to the ground! “She’s your adoptive little sister. How could you do that?” She hung up on me. My hands trembled when I phoned my older brother, Victor Anderson. Before I could speak, he sighed. “Clara, I fully support Mom’s decision. “Besides, I’m an early childhood educator. If others find out that I went to the mental asylum to pick up my younger sister, how would others see me? “Once you learn how to control your own emotions, we’ll definitely fetch you back home.” He hung up on me. I squatted in a corner and felt cold all over. I dialed my last option. My boyfriend, Xander Reid, answered the call. He sounded extremely cold and distant. “Clara, I was the one who submitted that mental health assessment report for your assault on Sally. “I’m her lawyer. To avoid any conflict of interest, I can’t pick you up. “You need treatment for your conditions now. Next month, when you learn to be better, I’ll pick you up with your mother.” I held the phone. Tears trickled down my cheeks as I laughed. I could not wait for another month. Next Wednesday was the deadline for the mandatory observation period. Any patients who were not picked up by their guardians would undergo a prefrontal lobotomy. I could see patients who had gotten that procedure done every single day. They were quiet and isolated, and it seemed like they had lost all their memories. They seemed to be walking corpses trapped within living bodies. Chapter 1 After the call ended, I could barely hold the phone with my shaking hands. “Are you done calling?” The staff member leaned against the doorframe and asked without looking up. “Has your guardian agreed to pick you up?” I gaped. My voice was trembling a little. “They said… Next month…” “Next month?” She smiled, “Your mandatory observation period deadline is next Wednesday. “If no one signs you out by then, what will be waiting for you isn’t a discharge, it’ll be a surgery.” My legs almost gave out under me. Two caregivers already stood behind me. “It’s time. Let’s return to your room.” They looped their arms around mine and dragged me back. The hallway was very long, yet it was eerily quiet. When I passed by room 201, the door was ajar. A man sat on the edge of his bed and smiled at the wall. He kept poking his finger in the same position mid-air. As we passed by room 203, a lady sat cross-legged on the floor. She was tracing circles on the tiles. Her fingernails were short and stubby, and a faint blood trail appeared where she traced. When we passed by room 205, someone lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling like a dead person. All of them had undergone that lobotomy. “I don’t want to go back! I don’t want to do the surgery!” I kept struggling in the opposite direction. My fingernails dug into the doorframe. “Behave!” One of the caregivers tugged my elbow. “If you keep resisting, I’ll have to tie you up!” Last week, when a patient was a little agitated, he was immediately tied up. He was tied to his bed for seven days, and he had no choice but to defecate on it. He could not even turn around on his own bed. I bit on my lower lip as I walked without making a sound. As we passed by the communal hall, the TV was on. I paused in my tracks. On the TV screen, my mother was wearing her white coat as she stood before the hospital. She was having an interview with the reporter. “As the head of the psychiatry department, my duty is to ensure every citizen’s safety. “Even if she’s my own daughter, as long as she displays any signs of violence, I will not protect her. “This is where I draw my line as a show of my promise to society.” My adoptive younger sister, Sally Anderson, stood beside her. Tears welled up in her eyes as she said softly, “I don’t blame Clara… She’s just ill… I’ll wait for her to get better.” I saw live comments appearing on the bottom of the screen. [Now this is a true healer's heart.] [Sally is such a great girl. Even though she got punched by her mentally ill older sister, she still cares about her!] [We’re glad to have such a just and selfless doctor.] The caregiver tugged on my elbow. “Let’s go. What are you waiting for?” I stumbled forward as I heard the applause on TV. After I returned to my ward, the door was locked behind me. I curled up in the corner. The scene from that day kept replaying in my mind. It was my birthday. I went back home earlier as I wanted to order a cake. I had just opened the door when I heard Sally on the phone in the living room. She had her back toward me as she spoke cheerfully. “Victor, I know you love me the most. Don’t worry, this house will belong to me sooner or later.” I stood silently at the entrance. She hung up the phone and turned around. When she saw me, she was stunned for a moment before slowly walking over. “Our parents spent so much on your education, yet you’re not doing any better than I am.” Then, she slapped me forcefully. “What a useless creep! Our parents will eventually disown you!” I held my cheek as I trembled in anger. Then, I pushed her. That was all I did. She stumbled backward and fell onto the floor. I was frightened. I rushed over and wanted to help her up. Yet, she suddenly screamed, “Help me! Clara’s going to kill me!” When my mother and my older brother, Victor Anderson, rushed in, they saw Sally lying on the floor. I was standing over her. No one asked me anything. That very night, I was sent to the mental asylum. I hugged my knees as I sat on my bed. I heard the sound of carts and hospital beds wheeling in the hallway. Another person was being sent in for a lobotomy. Every single person that went in became extremely quiet when they came out. They no longer cried or had any tantrums, nor would they feel pain. When the nurses asked them to take their medicine, they would do it without making a fuss. They would sleep when they were instructed to. However, their eyes were vacant. They no longer knew their names, and they could not recall their family members. They did not even know which day of the week it was. They were basically dead even though they were alive. Next Wednesday, I would be wheeled away too. Chapter 2 The next morning, I stood before the nurses’ counter. “I would like to exchange some points to make a call.” The nurse, Jane Dunne, flipped through my points card and cocked an eyebrow. “Are you sure? It’s going to cost you all the remaining points you have. Most patients would save up for that very last meal…” She lowered her voice. “You also know that once you’ve gone through the lobotomy, you won’t be able to taste anything anymore. “Last time, when you called your family members, none of them wanted to pick you up. If you call them now…” “I’m sure.” She stared at me for two seconds before taking my card away. “You have ten minutes. It’ll start counting the moment the call goes through. Once the time’s up, it’ll cut off by itself.” I grabbed the phone and called my best friend, Zoe Greg. “Zoe, it’s me, Clara.” She was quiet for a few seconds. “I’ve heard.” Zoe’s voice was very soft. “Victor called all of your classmates last week. “He said you’re violent and asked us to stay away from you, so we won’t trigger you. “I’m sorry.” Then, Zoe hung up on me. I made another call. When they heard my voice, they immediately said, “Victor’s called me before. I can’t talk to you, sorry.” Then, the call ended again. I glanced at the timer on the wall. Four minutes had passed. I still had six minutes left. I took a deep breath and still chose to call my mother. It rang three times before she answered. “Mom, next Wednesday, I’ll be…” “What is it again?” She sounded impatient as she immediately cut me off. “I’ve told you to only talk about discharging from the asylum when you’re better.” I started tearing up from anxiousness. “No! Mom, please hear me out. If no one picks me up by Wednesday, I’ll have to go through a lobotomy. After that procedure, I won’t remember anything…” “That’s great.” My mother sounded unbothered. “It’s great that you’ll lose your memory. Otherwise, you’ll only think about bullying Sally.” She hung up on me again. The timer indicated that six minutes had passed, and I only had four minutes left. My fingers were shaking when I dialed Victor’s number. After Victor answered, before I could speak, he already said impatiently. “Clara, I fully support Mom’s decision. Please stop calling me…” I immediately roared into the phone. “Victor, they’re going to give me a lobotomy! “After that, I won’t recognize any of you anymore!” Victor was quiet for a second. “Clara, what you’re saying right now proves Mom’s point. “How could a normal hospital perform a lobotomy? Are you making up stories to make us feel sorry for you? “If undergoing surgery will make you better, you should go ahead and do it. Once you get better, we’ll definitely come and pick you up.” He hung up on me. I had used up eight minutes. There were only two minutes left. I called the very last contact. Xander Reid, my boyfriend. However, he was not the one who answered the call. “Hello, this is Reid & Co. Who are you looking for?” “I’m looking for Xander. I’m his girlfriend, Clara.” The assistant paused. “Ms. Clara, Mr. Reid is currently working on Ms. Sally’s case. It’s not convenient for him to talk to you now. “He asked me to let you know to stop calling him and cooperate with the treatments prescribed. “Once you get better, he’ll pick you up with your family.” Everyone kept telling me to "learn to behave." Everyone was all just the same. Their idea of "learning to behave" was for me to admit to something I never did. They wanted me to admit that I had mental health issues and that I was a violent patient who hit Sally. I was expected to give in and apologize to everyone. But I was not ill. I did not hit Sally either. Why would I admit to that? I ran out of time and the timer cut my phone line off. 99 days and 10 minutes, I ran out of all the time I had. That night, Jane opened the door to my ward. “In two days, there will be a full body check-up scheduled for you before the surgery. Please cooperate.” I sat on the edge of my bed and knew that it was going to be my last chance. If I could prove to the doctor that I was not ill at all, they would stop the surgery. In the next two days, I barely slept at all. I could not cry or get agitated. I also could not insist on my innocence. If I showed any signs that I was out of control, it was over for me. On the day of the check-up, the doctor, Ted Johnson, sat opposite me and flipped through my medical records. “Since you were admitted to the asylum, have you ever gotten into a fight with other patients?” “No.” “Have you ever experienced any hallucinations?” “No.” “Are there any times when you find it hard to control your own emotions?” I looked into his eyes. “Dr. Johnson, in the past 99 days that I was admitted, I was not violent at all. You can look into my past records.” He flipped page by page. Finally, he put my medical record aside and took off his glasses. Then, he looked at me. “All indicators showed that you’re normal. Since you were admitted, nothing has been out of the norm. “In simpler terms, you’re not ill. If anything, you’re healthy.” Chapter 3 That afternoon, my entire family came over. Dr. Johnson passed my medical report over to them. “All indicators are normal. She didn’t display any aggression for the past 99 days, nor did she suffer from any auditory or visual hallucinations. She’s stable. “My suggestion is to discharge her immediately.” My mother took the report. “Is she… truly fine?” “Yes, she is.” Dr. Johnson continued, “She may attempt to fake her behavior, but biological indicators would not lie. She’s healthy.” I stood next to him. I did not dare to move a muscle or say a word. My mother stared at me for a really long time. Her judging gaze slowly turned into something else. She sighed. “My child… You’ve lost a lot of weight.” Victor walked over and patted my head. “You must have suffered a lot here.” I teared up and bit my lower lip tightly. I could not cry. If I cried, they would think that I was emotionally unstable. My mother stood up and gently tucked my hair behind my ear. “Maybe it was truly an accident last time… “I was afraid that you were unstable, so I…” She did not complete her sentence. Yet, I understood what she was trying to say. When I was younger, I had a fever. My mother carried me in her arms the entire night and kept pressing her forehead against mine to gauge the temperature. She must have loved me a lot. She must have loved me so much that it led to a misdiagnosis. At the same time, Sally walked over. “Clara, I’m sorry…” She teared up. “Maybe it was truly an accident that day. When I fell down, I bumped into the coffee table… Mom is too worried about me, that’s why she misdiagnosed you. “You’ve suffered a lot in the past months. I feel very bad about it.” My mother looked at Sally, then she looked at me and sighed. “See, Sally didn’t mean it.” Victor patted my shoulder. “We’re a family. Let’s not hold any grudges.” Xander walked over and stood before me with his head hung low. “Clara, it’s my fault this time.” He paused. “I’ll make it up to you when we go back. I’ll bring you for a trip, alright? Don’t you always say you want to see the aurora?” At the same time, Jane walked over with a form. “Can one of the family members come and sign the discharge papers for Clara?” Victor and Xander rushed over, and my mother followed suit. “Let me sign it. This time, I’ll definitely bring Clara home.” I sat on my hospital bed and saw them running around. It was as if I had a really long nightmare, and I had finally woken up from it. I heard my mother’s voice coming from the hallway. “Clara, come out and sign the papers! Once you sign it, we can leave!” I stood up and wanted to walk out of the ward. Sally stood before the door and suddenly rammed her head against the wall. Then, she screamed, “Help! Clara’s gone crazy again!” Chapter 4 I froze. I heard footsteps rushing in from the hallway. My mother was the first to arrive. “What’s wrong?” Sally’s forehead was covered in blood. The blood trickled down her eyebrows and dripped onto the floor. “Clara hit my head against the wall! Mom, I’m scared!” My mother hugged Sally and turned to glare at me. “Clara, I’m very disappointed in you!” Victor charged over and squatted down to inspect Sally’s wound. When he stood up, there were already tears in his eyes. “Clara, you would put on an act for 99 days just to lie your way through the check-up, so you can come out and harm others?” I teared up from anxiety. “I’m not pretending! She’s the one who…” “Enough!” My mother’s shrieks were piercing. “You’re crazy through and through! You would have episodes, and in those split moments, you’d lose control. “I’m the head of the psychiatry department. I’ve seen a lot more cases like this!” Sally leaned against my mother’s embrace and sobbed, “I just wanted to tell Clara that I’ll cook for her when we reach home… “I didn’t expect her to suddenly…” Xander stood in the hallway and looked at me. Then, he looked at Sally without saying a word. I stared at him intently. “Xander, trust me. I really didn’t hurt her!” He looked down and took a step back. It was as if he was hiding from a lunatic. My mother took out the discharge papers that she had just signed and tore it into two before me. “I was too naive! I thought you’d learn from your mistakes after being locked up for a hundred days.” She turned to Dr. Johnson. “I don’t agree with your findings. “I’m the head of the psychiatry department. I know my daughter’s condition better than anyone else. “She’s a typical case that demonstrates episodic outbursts. The moments of clarity don’t prove anything.” Dr. Johnson gaped and wanted to say something. Yet, my mother glared at him so he chose to not say anything. Victor carried Sally and walked out. When he walked past me, he did not even look at me. The door shut. The hallway became silent again. I leaned my back against the wall and slowly slid down. Then, I sat on the floor. My mother’s last words were still replaying in my mind. “Before she truly learns from her mistakes, please don’t contact us anymore!” She did not know what it meant if I was not discharged on that day. She thought that if she locked me up for a long time, I would admit to my mistakes and apologize. She did not know that I had no time left. That night, I did not sleep at all. It was the last night that I would still have a conscious mind. When it was morning, the caregivers walked in. “Clara, come with me.” I sat up without struggling. I changed into my surgical gown and lay on the hospital bed. Similar to all the past patients, I was wheeled to that door. When they administered anesthesia to me, I shut my eyes. When I opened my eyes again, I felt nothing. Nothing hurt, and nothing made me upset. I could not feel fear any longer. Jane was making her rounds. When she asked me to eat my medicine, I ate them. When she asked me to sleep, I would sleep. She told me to sit in the communal hall, and I would follow her instructions. I sat there for a whole day. Even though my eyes were on the TV, I did not know what was playing on it. When other patients talked to me, I would nod and smile, yet I did not know what they were saying. I did not know what I was smiling about either. I was very docile, and I had never been that calm in my entire life. Jane recorded: Clara’s emotions are stable, and she’s recovering well. A month later, Jane informed me, “Your family’s here to fetch you.” I followed her to the hall. Three people were standing there. There was a woman with her hair tied up. She was wearing a brown coat. A young man was smiling brightly at me. The other young man was holding a bouquet of flowers. The woman walked over with teary eyes. “Clara, I’m here to take you home.” The young man holding the flowers smiled. “I’ve bought the plane tickets. We’ll go see the aurora next week.” I looked at them and cocked my head. “Who are you?”