The Night You Left Me Waiting

My boyfriend, Ethan Bennett, was notoriously possessive. If I went three minutes without replying, he used to bombard me with messages. Lately, though, I could barely reach him. I asked what he wanted for dinner. No answer. I called. He didn’t pick up. Finally, I snapped. “If you don’t say something in the next three minutes, we’re done.” He finally replied. “Baby, let’s see a movie tonight. I got you a present.” My anger faded. I bought two tickets and waited for him. But even after the movie ended, he never showed. Then I guess we were over, too. The October wind carried a chill. I wrapped my coat tighter around myself, shivering outside the theater. We’d agreed on the seven o’clock showing, but the movie was over and Ethan was still nowhere to be seen. I’d called more than a dozen times. He hadn’t answered once. People streamed past me. Standing there alone, I felt painfully out of place. A couple passed nearby. The guy smiled fondly at his girlfriend, trying to explain. “But I made it, didn’t I? I dropped everything at work to get here. We saw the movie. Come on, don’t be mad.” She was still pouting, but she’d clearly forgiven him. She gave his arm a playful smack. “Then you shouldn’t have made me come alone! What kind of girl goes to the movies by herself?” I lowered my eyes to my shoes. Me, apparently. Even after everyone else had left, I was still standing in the cold. “Emma!” At last, Ethan jogged up in the black hoodie I’d bought him, breathing hard. “Why didn’t you wait inside? It’s about to start, right?” I turned to look at him without saying a word. “What’s wrong?” He scratched his head, looking baffled. I threw the tickets I’d been clutching at his chest. He scrambled to catch them, glanced down, and put on a look of dismay. “Oh, damn. I got the time wrong!” Disgusted by his terrible acting, I walked away. He followed, growing more worked up as he explained. “Emma, I really did get the time wrong. I’ve been working late. I haven’t even had dinner.” “Can you stop getting upset over every little thing? I mixed up the time. It’s just a movie. We can watch it whenever.” I’d had enough. I stopped, took out my phone, and held it up. “Ethan, fine. You misread the time. Something came up and you forgot our date. But could you at least answer your phone? I stood here for two hours. I called you seventeen times!” He paused, then pulled out his phone. I thought he would react the way he always had when he messed up. Feel guilty. Apologize. Hold me. Instead, he acted completely justified. “I put my phone on silent while I was working. Is that really such a crime?” I laughed. In that moment, he felt like a stranger. We didn’t speak on the drive home. Watching neon lights slide past the window, I thought about our past. Ethan and I had gone to high school together. He was handsome and came from money. Plenty of girls liked him. But none of them dared make a move. Everyone at school knew he was pursuing me. A warm bottle of milk every morning. A love letter every few days. I pretended to be unfazed, then slipped him a note. “Let’s go to the same college.” For that one sentence, the carefree, spoiled Ethan Bennett had actually buckled down and studied like his life depended on it. By graduation, our photos hung side by side on the school’s honors board. He’d stood there taking pictures like an idiot, saying it was our first official photo together and he needed to save it. We went to the same college, then found jobs in the same city. It felt as though our lives had become tied together. He was clingy. He always wanted to hold hands. He told me about every little thing he did when he went out. Even a stray kitten on the sidewalk deserved a video sent straight to me. Everyone said Ethan was completely, willingly wrapped around my finger. But now he sat on the couch staring at his phone, ignoring me—and the Alaskan malamute we’d raised together from a puppy. I sighed, filled the dog’s bowl, and called him. “Summit, come here.” He came running. Ethan never looked up. He kept typing, a faint smile playing across his face.Suddenly, I understood. He wasn’t failing to answer messages. He was choosing which ones to answer. After standing outside for over two hours, I was starving. I went into the kitchen to make noodles. Some time later, footsteps approached behind me. Ethan wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on my shoulder. “Is there any for me?” He sounded pitiful, his tone much softer now. Without a word, I stepped aside, putting distance between us. He immediately pulled me back into his arms. “Okay, okay. I messed up. I shouldn’t have gotten the time wrong, and I definitely should’ve answered your calls. It won’t happen again, all right?” I tried to count how many times lately I hadn’t been able to reach him. Then he brushed a kiss over my lips and promised, “We’re going to Alaska next month, remember? Don’t be upset.” Alaska. Denali. Snow-covered peaks turning gold at sunrise. That was a promise we’d made at twenty. Now we were twenty-six. It was time to keep it. In the middle of the night, I rolled over and found his side of the bed empty. I walked out of the bedroom and saw the only light in the living room coming from the couch. Ethan had his headset on. His fingers flew across his phone as he smiled and murmured to someone on the other end. I’d never seen him quite like this. Indifferent to how I felt, pouring his attention into someone else. Finding happiness with another person. I couldn’t help asking, “You’re still up? Weren’t you exhausted from working late?” He pulled off his headset without looking away from the screen. “I’m giving myself tomorrow off. Just playing for a bit. Go back to bed.” Then he put the headset back on and disappeared into his virtual world. I said nothing else and went back to the bedroom. He could afford to take a day off whenever he wanted. He owned his own business. Whether he worked late or stayed home depended entirely on his mood. That night, for the first time, I opened a social media app and searched for “how to tell if your boyfriend is cheating.” I felt like a thief sneaking around. A few uneventful days passed. I was bathing the dog at home when one of Ethan’s friends called. “Emma, come get Ethan. We’re at a karaoke bar, and he’s wasted.” Wasted? He’d always been able to hold his liquor. I didn’t stop to think. I got the dog settled and drove over. The private room’s door was ajar. When I pushed it open, I saw Ethan with his face buried against a girl’s chest. They looked like a couple madly in love. Someone spotted me and hurried to nudge him. “Hey, Ethan. Emma’s here.” The girl gave an unreadable smile and gently pushed at his head. A second later, he leaned right back into her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. His face was flushed. He mumbled, “Don’t move. Let me stay here for a minute. Just a minute.” The girl tilted her head and gave me a sweet smile. “He drank a lot for me tonight. I hope you don’t mind.” She said it so casually, as though she were Ethan’s girlfriend. I found an empty seat and forced out words in a voice I barely recognized. “Then I’ll wait until he sobers up a little.”The room went awkwardly quiet. Someone shoved Ethan hard enough that he finally pulled away from her. A little more alert now, he saw me and seemed to sober up instantly. He hurried over to sit beside me. “When… when did you get here?” Instead of answering, I asked, “Made a new friend? Aren’t you going to introduce us?” He glanced uneasily at the girl. “This is Lily Parker. She’s our new intern.” One of his drunk friends chimed in. “Lily’s our favorite. We game together all the time. She’s the only girl in our group chat!” Lily kept smiling. “Stop teasing me, you guys.” Group chat? Suddenly, I understood. Ethan had a chat with his buddies. He’d always said it was their private space and that girls wouldn’t fit in. Apparently, it was just me who didn’t fit. Ethan shot his friend a warning look, but the guy was too drunk to catch it. He kept trying to liven things up. “Come on, Ethan. Now that Emma’s here, you don’t have to worry about getting yelled at for coming home late. Let’s play something! She hardly ever hangs out with us!” “Yeah, come on! Let’s all play!” I’d never liked noisy gatherings, and I had pretty specific interests. I rarely joined Ethan and his friends. Ethan glanced at me. For once, I agreed without hesitation. “Sure. I’m already here.” It was a simple game of truth or dare. Ethan lost the first round. For once, he looked guilty. After a moment, he said, “Dare.” His friend hooted. “Then take out your phone and show us who you’ve been messaging the most!” Ethan visibly relaxed. He pulled out his phone and swiped a couple of times. “My girlfriend, obviously.” Before he could put it away, I caught his hand. He didn’t panic. He confidently passed me the phone, even managing a smile. “What, you don’t believe me? Look all you want.” Calmly, I opened Snapchat, went into the privacy settings, and found his blocked contacts… Out of the corner of my eye, I watched the panic creep into Ethan’s gaze. His jaw tightened. I hadn’t expected my recent research to come in handy so soon. There was only one person on the list. Her profile picture was a selfie. I opened it. Sure enough, it was everyone’s favorite girl. Ethan had saved her as “Sweet Lil.” All right. Let’s see just how sweet she was. I scrolled through their saved messages. There seemed to be no end. “What do you want to eat?” “Whatever you buy me, of course.” “Want to game?” “After work?” “Duo queue?” “Sure. Ten tonight. Don’t be late.” “Oh my God, boss, you’re seriously so good at this!” “I’m so stupid. I keep messing everything up.” “I don’t really have any friends. You’re the only one who’s good to me.” “I just want to stay quietly by your side. I won’t get in your way.” I returned to the main screen and searched for my own name. “Emma Hayes.” No affection. Nothing special. Just my name sitting there by itself. And beside it was the little icon showing he’d muted my notifications.No wonder he so often ignored my messages now. I glanced at Ethan. He looked cornered, clearly wanting his phone back but not daring to reach for it. I handed it to him. So while I’d been waiting alone outside the theater, he’d been gaming with Lily. Those patient, gentle smiles had been for her. I could imagine exactly how irresistible he sounded, murmuring into his headset late at night. Night after night, he and Lily had played together, using a game as cover for thrilling, romantic online dates. I knew what he looked like when he was in love. I just couldn’t accept seeing him look that way for someone else. I stared at him. I couldn’t connect the man in front of me to the boy who’d once pursued me so relentlessly. When had he changed? I didn’t know. I didn’t want to know. The drive home was silent again. I stared down the road as tears slipped down both cheeks. Apparently, when you were disappointed enough, your body cried without asking permission. I rarely cried. Ethan frowned and clumsily tried to wipe my face. I turned away, avoiding every attempt to touch me. He went rigid, then rushed to explain. “Baby, Lily and I just play games together. She’s young. She doesn’t know when to watch what she says. Please don’t read into it.” I gave a cold laugh. “Oh, so now I’m ‘baby’? Not ‘Emma Hayes,’ with her notifications muted?” Quick-witted Ethan Bennett, the star of our college debate team, couldn’t manage a complete sentence. I pulled up outside a hotel and turned to him. “Are you getting out, or am I?” He understood. He looked as though he wanted to argue, but finally got out, his expression dark. On the third day of our standoff, I got a call from the building manager back in my hometown. My mother had suffered a sudden medical emergency and died alone in our little apartment. In a panic, I sent Ethan a message saying I was going home and asking him to take care of Summit. My mother had raised me alone. I’d never imagined losing her while I was still in my twenties. A week later, after handling her funeral by myself, I boarded the train back. On the train, I kept searching for proof that she had lived. Her handwriting. Photos on my phone. Our messages and voice recordings. But the more I looked, the harder I cried. It was eight in the evening when I got home. I’d left in such a rush that I hadn’t even packed a warm coat. Hunched against the cold, I unlocked the door. The moment I stepped inside, I froze. Seven or eight people sat around our dining table, gathered over a steaming fondue pot. Ethan and his friends had their glasses raised. Their laughter filled the apartment with warmth. My sudden arrival brought it all to a halt. They turned toward the door, smiles frozen on their faces. Ethan shot to his feet. He’d always had sharp eyes. He immediately noticed the black mourning ribbon pinned to my chest. Before he could speak, a sugary female voice floated out of our bedroom. “Ethan, your dog won’t cooperate for pictures! What do I do?” Lily walked out with her phone in her hand. My gaze traveled down from her face to the lounge pants she was wearing. My lounge pants. I pressed my lips together, trying to contain the emotions rising in my throat. Summit spotted me and raced over like a child desperate for comfort. I bent down and stroked his head, then looked back at those pants. “Oh, Emma, I came over in a short skirt, and it kept riding up when I sat down. Ethan had to find me something to wear. Please don’t get the wrong idea.” A short skirt in this weather. Apparently, freezing to death wasn’t a concern. Something in my head snapped. Already stretched to the breaking point, I could no longer control the fury inside me. Anger burned through my chest, and a wave of hatred threatened to swallow me. I turned toward Ethan, who stood frozen, and clenched my hands at my sides until my fingertips went white. Just as I was about to explode, Lily stepped forward and grabbed my arm. “Come in, Emma. Sit down and eat with—” Before she could finish, Summit knocked her to the floor. My normally gentle dog must have thought she was attacking me. He went straight for her, biting without hesitation. “Ah!” “Holy shit!” Screams and curses filled the room. Ethan hauled Summit off her and slapped him across the nose. Summit yelped and ran back to me, fresh blood staining his mouth. Some of the pressure in my chest finally eased. I patted him to comfort him, ignored the chaos around us, and led him out. Of everything in that apartment, the dog was the only thing I still wanted.