My Emotionally Unavailable Boyfriend Loves My Bestie

For the seven years that my boyfriend, Jason Carpenter, has been suffering from an avoidant attachment disorder, he has never once initiated a conversation with me. It doesn't matter whether I'm discussing something major or trivial with him. His only responses to me are either "1", to mean that he agrees, or "2", to mean that he disagrees. Even when I hold up a pregnancy test showing two lines right in front of his face, he merely hums in a flat tone before turning around and heading off to work. My best friend, Stella Powell, once tried talking sense into me. She said, "A man like that is worse than an air conditioner. He doesn't care whether you're feeling hot or cold. What's even the point of being with him?" I touched the ring on my finger and smiled. "He's just sick. He doesn't know how to express himself well. But I know that he cares about me deep down." However, one month later, things change on my birthday when I arrive late to the restaurant. From a distance, I can see Jason sitting right next to Stella, literally pressing himself close to her. I see the man who's always ice-cold to me beaming at her while tenderly wiping away the raindrops on her face. She also has his jacket draped over her shoulders. I look away and glance at my phone. I sent him a text message just earlier, asking, "Jason, it's pouring, but I didn't bring an umbrella. Could you please come and pick me up?" "2". I stand frozen to the spot. Suddenly, it strikes me. I am the one who's truly sick. I'm the one who's sick with a blindness that has been keeping me from seeing the truth all along. Chapter 1 My best friend, Stella Powell, caught sight of me first and waved at me with a bright smile on her face. I walked over to them, but my boyfriend, Jason Carpenter, didn't even look up at me. He was busy wiping clean the tableware for Stella when he wouldn't even lift a single finger to help me with the housework at home. Stella told me excitedly, "Tammy! I bet the traffic was horrible today. It's pouring with rain everywhere!" I nodded without saying a single word, and she just continued yapping away. "We haven't had rain this heavy in ages. I simply didn't know what to do when I stepped out of the office building, but thank goodness your Jason had an umbrella and walked me here! If not, I would have been terribly late!" "Oh, really?" I asked, forcing a smile before looking at the man in front of me. "Since you had an umbrella, why didn't you also come along to pick me up?" Jason didn't stop what he was doing. He simply arranged the tableware one by one in front of Stella before saying nonchalantly, "I only had one umbrella." He was still as brief and curt as ever. He only had one umbrella, so according to him, he couldn't shield me from the rain if he shielded Stella… But I was the one working at the same company as he did, and it would make more sense to bring me along than to shield Stella. The waiter arrived just then with our dishes. I saw that our main course was smothered in a layer of vibrant green cilantro. "Here are your dishes, sir. We added the extra cilantro as per your note earlier." "Good. Thanks," Jason said, smiling at the waiter. Stella took a bite of her dish, and her eyes lit up immediately. "Oh, my God, this tastes amazing! You really know all my tastes, Jason!" The corners of Jason's mouth turned up briefly. He was clearly in a good mood. He then glanced at me silently as though signaling me to start eating. However, I froze in place with my fork in my hand, unable to even move a muscle. I simply couldn't bring myself to eat. I hated cilantro with a passion. And yet, after seven years together, he still hadn't remembered that. Or, maybe he did, but he simply didn't care. My sense of smell had become a lot more heightened ever since my pregnancy, and I couldn't suppress the rising wave of nausea inside of me, so I let out a dry heave. Jason frowned and glanced at me. He didn't say a word, but I could see the look of disgust in his eyes. Meanwhile, Stella widened her eyes and looked at me. "Wait. Tammy, you don't take cilantro, do you? Here, give me all the cilantro on your plate. I'll eat them for you!" She smiled at me and picked out every bit of cilantro from my bowl while Jason looked at her approvingly, even using his fork and knife to help her cut up her protein. I never knew that a man who was such a germaphobe—who refused to even touch my utensils after I'd held them—would actually use his own personal knife and fork to help another woman cut up her steak. And even though it was my birthday, there wasn't a single person who wished me a happy birthday throughout the meal. When the bill was settled, the waiter brought over a complimentary dessert, and Jason took it from him before naturally handing it over to Stella. When we left the restaurant, he only held the door open for Stella before letting go, making the heavy door slam into my face. It hurt so much that it immediately brought tears to my eyes. By the time I recovered and walked out the door, the two of them were already half a block ahead of me. They were walking shoulder to shoulder with each other, as if there was never a third person in this gathering all along. Then, they turned the corner, and their figures vanished completely from sight. From the start, neither of them bothered to look back at me even once. I stood there quietly for a moment before turning around and walking in the opposite direction instead, returning to the office and continuing working overtime until the early hours of the morning. My colleague teased me with a smile, "You're working too hard through your pregnancy, Tamara. Why are you staying out this late? Won't Mr. Carpenter get worried about you?" I simply smiled at her and glanced at my phone. There wasn't a single call or message asking about my whereabouts or checking in on me—only a question mark Jason sent me two hours ago. Every time we had a disagreement, Jason would always resort to giving me the silent treatment, and every time, I was always the one who had to back down and apologize first. I stared at that question mark until my eyes ached, suddenly realizing that everything was pointless. So, I tapped into our chat window and typed out a message to him. "Let's break up, Jason." Chapter 2 Five minutes later, Jason replied with a "2". He didn't even ask why or where I'd gone. It was just a single, solitary number, and that was it. I smiled bitterly, taking a deep breath to steady myself. Since I had decided to break up, I needed to sever all ties with him. So, I clicked into the hospital website and booked an appointment for an abortion with trembling hands. It was late at night when I finally returned home. The house was silent and completely pitch-black. I knew that Jason was already fast asleep, and suddenly, I was reminded of how I used to wait up for him whenever he worked late or overtime at the company. Even if I was dead tired, I would always leave a light on for him. I turned on the flashlight on my phone and quietly walked back into my bedroom—which was actually a stretch, calling it that. It was more like a converted study. Jason slept alone in the master bedroom, claiming that he couldn't sleep when I was next to him because my breathing disturbed him. He would only enter my bedroom whenever he had sexual needs, and even so, he would just go through the motions mechanically like a robot, leaving the moment he was done without even lingering another second more. Consequently, he hadn't set foot in this room ever since I got pregnant. … The next morning, Jason was already eating breakfast when I woke up. And as usual, he had only prepared breakfast for himself, listening to a financial podcast while browsing the news on his phone. I walked past him, but he didn't even spare me a glance. The hydrangea on the balcony that I'd bought the day I discovered I was pregnant had already withered into a clump of dead matter after just two days without water. For some strange reason, I felt a sharp pang of heartache strike me right at that moment. I picked up a watering can and watered the hydrangea repeatedly, foolishly hoping that it would come back to life, but instead, the withered leaves and blossoms simply fell off as the water hit them. The plant was as dead as a doornail. I suddenly felt all drained of strength and slumped onto the floor, my tears streaming down my face uncontrollably. I was weeping for the flowers, for myself, and for this seven-year relationship that had rotted away. Jason didn't even glance my way at the dining table. He simply turned up the volume on his podcast to drown out my sobbing. I slowly stood up and walked over to him. "Let's talk." He paused the podcast and clasped his hands on the table, tapping his fingers rhythmically against the surface. It was always like this every time I said I wanted to talk. He'd adopt this posture, his eyes would be unfocused, and his expression would be distant. I knew the signs. His mind was wandering elsewhere. Still, I spoke anyway, asking, "Did you see the breakup message I sent?" He nodded. A sharp, stinging ache spread through my chest. But I was unwilling to let it go, so I pressed on, "Is there nothing you want to say to me?" He simply looked at me in bewilderment. His lips parted for a bit, but he didn't even make a sound. Just then, his phone alarm went off, and he picked it up before walking right past me, not even hesitating for a single moment. It was as though I were completely invisible to him. The moment the door opened, I heard a familiar voice floating in. It was Stella, greeting me with a huge smile in the doorway. "Tammy! Jason's driving me to work today. Wanna come along?" Jason and I had worked at the same company for seven years, and yet, he had always insisted on keeping our professional and personal lives separate. He had never once driven me to work, whether rain or shine. And yet, on Stella's very first day of work, he was already acting as her chauffeur. A gust of wind blew in from the balcony, and I felt enveloped by a sudden chill. I instinctively moved to close the window, but I tripped over the watering can, spilling water all over my pants. I hurriedly righted the watering can, but when I looked up, both of them were already gone, and the sound of a car driving away outside the house faded away into the distance. Chapter 3 One hour later, I arrived at the office all by myself. But as soon as I stepped into the workspace, I heard my colleagues whispering among themselves. "Hey, I just saw that newbie get out of Mr. Carpenter's passenger seat. She even twisted her ankle getting out, and he just carried her upstairs in his arms like it was nothing!" "Does this mean that he's already dumped Tamara?" "Definitely. Have you ever seen him give her a ride in all the years she's been here?" "Tsk! He's making his favoritism way too obvious." However, when they saw me approaching them, they hurriedly nudged each other and scattered. I walked straight toward my office, only to find Stella already sitting in my seat. I frowned and asked her, "What are you doing here?" Stella pointed innocently at the nameplate on the desk and replied, "Jason told me to sit here." I saw that my name on the nameplate had already been replaced by hers, even though the job title remained exactly the same. Jason appeared to hand an employee handbook to Stella before turning to leave. I called out to him at once, "Don't you think you owe me an explanation for this, Jason?" Jason didn't even look back. He replied coldly, "I told you not to refer to me by my first name at the company." Stella immediately jumped to her feet and said urgently, "I think you should explain things to her, Jason. If not, Tammy's going to misunderstand us." There was a pregnant silence for a couple of seconds. Finally, Jason turned toward me and pointed at the desk closest to the toilets. "That's your new place." More and more colleagues gathered around us outside the office, eager to watch the drama unfold. I suppressed the rising tide of grievance in me and forced the word out of my mouth. "Why?" Jason couldn't even be bothered to explain it to me himself. He simply glanced at the general manager, Dustin Barnard, who immediately pushed himself through the crowd. "Let's not get worked up, Tamara Nielson. Stella's work represented our company in a competition and just won a major international award. "Sure, you've been with the company for ages, but your position should ultimately go to someone more deserving." What work? My chest tightened. I immediately snatched the portfolio from Dustin's hands and flipped through the pages one by one—it was all my work. It was the work that I had produced after a whole month of sleepless nights, and I had sketched every single design by hand. Yet, the signature at the bottom right corner was Stella's. My eyes widened with disbelief. I turned to Jason and demanded, "Did you do this?" He was the only one who could have entered the study and taken my manuscripts without my knowing. I continued, "You gave my designs to Stella and put her name on them?" His expression barely even changed when faced with my accusation. He just stood beside Stella and said nonchalantly, "Does it matter? It's not like the outcome would change anyway." His tone was completely flat and devoid of any emotion, as though everything I just said was to a brick wall, stirring up none of his emotions at all—because he genuinely didn't care. But I cared. "This is my work! I poured my entire life into this! Of course it matters!" I finally snapped, yelling at him. Dustin lowered his head and fell silent. My colleagues also gave me sympathetic gazes. However, Jason still remained unmoved. He simply turned to Dustin and said, "She's too emotional and unsuitable for this job. Suspend her for now." I let out a bitter laugh as tears splashed onto the floor. "Suspend me? Listen here, Jason Carpenter. I quit!" I then yanked off the employee ID badge, slammed it hard onto the desk, and turned to leave. … Dark clouds gathered overhead as I took a cab home. The summer breeze felt chilly against my face, and I suddenly remembered that it had also been the same overcast, rainy day when I confessed my feelings to Jason. We had been in a situationship for a long time back then, yet he never took initiative to make the first step toward me. Eventually, I couldn't keep my feelings to myself anymore and confessed to him first. To my surprise, he vanished for three whole days and nights after my confession. But just as I was about to give up on the relationship, he suddenly appeared at my doorstep, completely drenched from the rain. He then explained that his parents' divorce had made him emotionally avoidant since childhood, leaving him afraid to face his own feelings. But for my sake, he decided to be brave just this once. I could never forget the words he spoke as he slipped a stainless steel ring onto my ring finger. "I'm not good with sweet talk, Tammy, but I'll prove my love for you through my actions. One day, I will replace this stainless steel ring with a huge diamond one and give you the best life I can ever give." His eyes were sincere and glistening with unshed tears, and since then, I quit my job to fully devote myself to helping him build his business. Stella once got indignant on my behalf and asked, "But Tammy, there are hundreds of big companies vying to hire you with your high qualifications and impressive track record. Why even bother going to work at his tiny startup?" I smiled at her then, feeling lucky that I had a best friend who stood up for me and a boyfriend who truly loved me… But little did I know that somewhere along the way, they had gotten closer and closer to each other. I felt the raindrops landing on my face. They were cool on my skin. I took off the stainless steel ring, the one that I had stroked and caressed countless times, and just tossed it out of the car window. "Sorry, but can you please take me to the hospital instead? I'll cover the extra fare and increase the tip." Chapter 4 I lay in the doctor's examination room as I underwent the checkup. "The baby is perfectly healthy, Ms. Nielson. Are you sure that you don't want to keep it? Would you like to discuss it with your family first?" my doctor, Luke Meyers, asked. I gazed out the window and saw that the hugely overcast sky had finally begun pouring, blurring my vision. I picked up my phone, my finger hovering over Jason's name. But then, I suddenly realized that his profile picture seemed to be a matching couple's photo with Stella's. I tapped into his social media profile at once. The man who usually only reposted financial news and couldn't even be bothered to mark down our dating anniversaries had posted a photo for the first time in ages. It was a shot of him and Stella from the back, and the caption read, "She said she wanted the photo." I set down my phone with tears welling in my eyes. Then, I took a deep breath and whispered, "I've already thought about it… I don't want to keep it. I don't want it anymore." As the cold medical instrument moved within me, I felt nothing but a sense of relief washing over me. On the day I was discharged from the hospital, the nurse handed me a package of nutritional supplements and gently patted me on the back of my hand. "You've been coming to the hospital alone ever since you got pregnant. I just wanted to tell you that we, as women, should always remember to be kind to ourselves first." I nodded, deeply touched by her words. When I returned home and opened the door, I was greeted with the sight of Jason and Stella pressed together in a complete state of undress. Jason, who usually acted like a robot performing his obligations with me, was seemingly unleashing a pent-up surge of lust and desire for Stella. "I love you so much, Ella…" "How much?" "So much that I want to pluck all the stars in the sky just for you. I want to see you the moment I open my eyes every day…" He then greedily stroked her long hair, pouring out his love for her with intense emotion. He said it so naturally to her as though he had already rehearsed the words countless times in his head. Even though I had mentally prepared myself for this, the moment I saw it with my own eyes, I still felt a thousand ants gnawing at my heart in a sharp, restless, stinging kind of pain. This time, I didn't make a fuss. I didn't even ask why. I just turned and left. Jason finally reacted then. He hurriedly ran toward me while pulling up his pants. "Tammy, wait! I can explain!" I stopped and looked at him in amusement. "Alright. Go ahead." He licked his lips and scratched his nose, unable to meet my gaze. He had always been terrible at lying. Every time he did, he would always look away and scratch his nose. "Stella and I both came from single-parent homes… And I just wanted to look after her… Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you some food?" He changed the subject again. Each time he encountered a question he didn't want to answer or explain himself, he would instinctively dodge it and pretend that nothing had ever happened. Stella dropped to her knees before me with a thud and sobbed, "Tammy, please, if you're going to blame anyone, you can blame me for it instead of Jason. I was the one who made the first move. You used to tell me that he was clueless about being romantic, so I just got curious if he even knew anything about—" I leaned down and quietly studied this "best friend" whom I'd known for 20 years. I used to believe that our friendship was stronger than anything else, even romance, but now… "So, you also plagiarized my work and took over my job out of curiosity too?" "Tammy, there's no need for you to be nasty!" Jason, who usually never showed any emotion toward me, was now glaring fiercely and snapping at me for the sake of another woman. I couldn't be bothered to continue watching their display of affection and hypocrisy anymore. I just picked up my suitcase and left. Jason tried to chase after me, but he was held back by the woman sobbing in his arms. After he managed to calm Stella down, he searched every mall, cafe, and park that I used to frequent, but I was nowhere to be found. Stella saw how distraught he looked and tried to reassure him. "Don't worry. You've both been together for seven years. Tammy won't bear to leave you. Besides, she's pregnant, so where could she possibly go anyway? Just relax and calm down." There was a knock at the door just then, and Jason let out a sigh of relief as he went to answer it. "Tammy, where did you go—" However, it was a delivery man at the door. "Afternoon, sir. This was sent over from the hospital. They said that Ms. Nielson forgot to pick up the medication she was prescribed." Jason opened the bag, and the words jumped out at him at once. "Post-Abortion Care Instructions." … I received a text message from Jason late that night while I was at the airport. "Tammy! Don't do anything rash! Whatever the issue is, come back and talk to me about it!" I just mimicked his texting style and replied, "2." Then, I removed my SIM card and turned off my phone for good.