He Came for Her Baby. Mine Was Already Gone

Lillian lifted her foot. White powder clung to her heel. “These don’t look like anything special,” she said. “Joel, you’ll take me to get something better tomorrow, won’t you?” He crossed the room and took her hand. “Watch the glass, Lily.” He guided her onto the rug. “You could’ve cut yourself over a bottle of junk.” I’d tried three hospitals before I found one that had it. At the third, I’d waited until a healer came off her rounds and asked her to check the dispensary herself. When she brought the bottle out, I held it in both hands all the way to the car. Joel hadn’t asked what was in it then, either. He looked from the floor to my face. “Do you have any idea how unhinged you look right now? Lily borrowed the bathroom. You locked her in there knowing she was pregnant. What were you trying to do, kill her?” I looked down at the heel print in the powder. I’d spent weeks looking for those tablets. I picked up my suitcase. “Finish whatever you were doing,” I said. “Then get some sleep.” I stepped around them. Lillian stuck her foot out as I passed. My suitcase struck the doorframe. I caught myself with one hand before I went down. A dull pain pulled low across my belly, and I stayed where I was until I could breathe through it. Behind me, Joel caught Lillian by the shoulders. “Lily, are you all right? She didn’t bump into you, did she?” “I’m fine.” She leaned into him. “It’s just that Pauline seemed so angry.” I straightened and looked back. “I’m not angry,” I said. “The dead don’t get angry.” Joel’s hands went still on her shoulders. “Who the hell are you talking about?” He waited for me to answer. When I didn’t, his voice sharpened. “If you want to put on a show, go do it at your family’s house. Get out of my sight.” I picked up the suitcase and carried it downstairs. The ache had eased by the time I reached the bottom. I set the case down to switch hands. “Leaving already, Pauline?” Lillian leaned over the upstairs railing. The sleeves of my silk robe had come unrolled. She pushed one back and pointed at my throat. “That’s a pretty necklace. Joel says you hardly ever wear it. Why don’t you give it to me? A little welcome gift for the baby.” My hand went to the pendant. I rarely wore it because the chain was so thin. I’d put it on that morning before I went to see Dr. Finch. I wanted something of my mother’s with me when I went back to the hospital. Joel came out onto the landing and followed Lillian’s gaze. “It’s an old necklace, Pauline. Take it off and give it to her.” I’d loved him for five years. The first time I wore that necklace around him, I told him where it came from while he fastened the clasp for me. “It was my mother’s,” I said. “It’s the only thing I have left of her.” “Your mother’s been dead for years. Why are you still hanging on to that piece of junk?” He put a hand on the railing. “Take it off. Don’t make me do it for you.” Lillian was already coming down the stairs. She stopped on the last step, close enough to reach my throat without asking me to come any nearer. She took hold of the pendant and pulled. The chain bit into the back of my neck. I could have caught her wrist. I kept my hands at my sides. The clasp gave with a sharp snap. “Thanks, Pauline.” She dangled the broken chain between us. “It’s a little dated, but I think I can make it work with my dress tomorrow.” Joel came down the last few steps and put an arm around her waist. “You’re this happy over a cheap necklace? I’ll take you to the auction tomorrow. Pick out anything you like.” I touched the welt on my neck. It burned in a thin line where the chain had been. Lillian waited for me to ask for it back. I could tell by the way she held it just beyond my reach. “If you like it, keep it,” I said. My voice came out so steady I almost didn’t recognize it. “I hope you wear it always.” I picked up my suitcase, opened the front door, and stepped out into the cold.

Joel’s laugh followed me out before the door shut. “How many times are you going to play this game, Pauline? Tomorrow you’ll be back here begging me to let you in.” I called a car from the curb. When it arrived, the driver stowed my suitcase and asked where I was headed. I gave him the address of the private women’s hospital downtown. It had a maternity wing staffed by pack healers through the night. We’d barely turned the corner when Joel texted. Get back here tonight and apologize to Lily. If you’re not home by morning, I’m canceling your card. I read it once. Then I blocked his number, went through my messaging apps, and removed him from every account where he could reach me. The city lights slid across the window. For a few blocks, I could see my reflection clearly enough to make out the red line across my throat. Five years earlier, after Joel’s first business folded, two men he owed money to cornered him in an alley. He was already on the ground when I found him. One of the men raised a bat to bring it down on his head. I stepped between them. I remember Joel cradling the back of my head afterward. Blood ran down my temples and onto his sleeves. He kept trying to wipe it away with his thumb. He was crying so hard he had to say my name twice before he could get the rest out. “I swear you’ll never have to suffer because of me again, Pauline. I’m going to give you the best of everything.” His next business took off. By then he could buy almost anything he wanted. I’d just watched him offer Lillian anything she liked at tomorrow’s auction. I laid a hand over my belly. The ache from the dressing room had faded, but I kept my palm there until we reached the hospital. I’m sorry, baby. I can’t bring you into this world just to watch you suffer in it. At the hospital, I handed the signed form to the night nurse. She checked me in and showed me to a bench outside the procedure rooms. I had the first appointment in the morning. My phone buzzed. A charge on the card Joel had given me as an authorized user. Then another. A handbag from a boutique that stayed open late for private clients. Jewelry from the shop he’d once taken me to when he wanted me to stop asking where he’d spent the night. The amounts kept climbing. Less than an hour ago, Joel had promised Lillian anything she wanted at the auction. Apparently, neither of them had felt like waiting. He’d threatened to cancel my card in the morning. I knew what he wanted now. He wanted me to unblock his number and ask him to make her stop. I opened the banking app and reported the card lost. The alerts stopped. Before dawn, Dr. Finch came down the hall with my chart. Two weeks earlier, she’d explained the risks and held the appointment and recovery suite while I decided. “Ms. Sullivan.” She sat beside me on the bench. “Are you still sure?” “Yes.” “You’re six months along. We talked about how difficult the induction could be, and what the scans might mean for a future pregnancy. I can’t promise you’ll be able to carry another child.” She waited. She’d given me the same silence two weeks ago, and I’d used it to ask whether I could have another day to think. “I’ve made my decision,” I said. Dr. Finch opened the chart to my consent form. At the bottom, Joel’s signature ran across the box marked Family Acknowledgment. “Admissions will verify his acknowledgment for the pack record,” she said. “Then I’ll come back and get you.” A nurse came around the corner before she could stand. “Dr. Finch, there’s a problem in the private wing. Lillian Fox says she’s in pain. We offered her a room, but she’s insisting on the largest suite.” The nurse glanced at me. “It’s the one we reserved for Ms. Sullivan.” I heard Joel before I saw him. He was telling someone to get out of his way. He came down the corridor with an arm around Lillian and his bodyguards behind him. She was walking easily. When she spotted me, her eyes lit up. “Oh, Joel. Look who’s here.” She put both hands over her belly and leaned into his side. “I feel awful about last night, Pauline. I think I caught a chill, and the baby hasn’t settled down since. Joel absolutely refused to let me stay home.” She looked past me at Dr. Finch. “I heard you booked the best suite. You wouldn’t mind letting me have it, would you? Just this once.” Joel didn’t ask what I was doing on a bench outside the procedure rooms before dawn. His eyes went to the suitcase at my feet. “You really know how to run, don’t you, Pauline?” he said. “What’s next? Hiding from me in a hospital?”

Joel glanced at my suitcase. He didn’t ask why I was at the hospital. “Give Lily the room,” he said. “She’s having complications.” “I need a room, too.” He gave a short laugh. “For what? There’s nothing wrong with you. Lily’s always been delicate. Why are you fighting her over a bed?” Before I could answer, Lillian snatched the overnight bag off the chair beside me. She yanked the zipper open and tipped it sideways. A tiny shirt fell out first. Then the rest slid onto the floor. “What are these, Pauline? Rags?” She nudged the shirt with the toe of her shoe. I’d sewn the cuffs twice because the first time I’d made them too narrow. “Joel ordered a whole wardrobe for our baby. Everything’s custom-made.” She looked down at the clothes. “I suppose you could call these handmade, too.” She stepped on them and laughed. Joel watched her. “Come on, Lily. Forget about her. Let’s get you settled.” For six months, I’d sewn a little at a time. Some nights I’d stopped after three stitches because my eyes were closing. I’d left the basket beside the bed so I could pick up where I’d left off in the morning. Now there was a wet shoe print across the smallest shirt. I stood up slowly. “Take the suite,” I said. “I can recover in the general ward.” Joel frowned. He’d been ready to argue, and I’d given him nothing to argue about. “Smart of you,” he said. He put his arm around Lillian and took her down the hall. She looked back once. Her smile stayed in place until they turned the corner. Dr. Finch waited until their footsteps faded. “Admissions cleared the paperwork,” she said. “We can go whenever you’re ready.” “I’m ready.” The doors closed behind me. The induction lasted three hours. I remember the cold and Dr. Finch offering me her hand. I gripped the sheet instead. There came a point when all I could think about was getting through the next breath. I’d spent five years thinking there would always be one more thing to say to Joel. At that moment, I couldn’t think of anything. When they wheeled me out, Dr. Finch walked beside the bed. She kept one hand over mine. “Ms. Sullivan,” she said quietly. “He was a boy. Would you like to see him?” I closed my eyes. I’d known there would be a moment when she asked. I’d rehearsed an answer and still couldn’t get it out. “No,” I managed. “Please take care of him for me.” If I looked, I knew I’d ask to hold him. I didn’t know how I’d put him down again. Two hours later, I got out of bed in the general observation ward and changed into my own clothes. I stopped halfway through buttoning my coat and waited for the room to settle. Brent had texted to say he was outside. The nurse saw me reach for my bag. “Ms. Sullivan, you’re still bleeding. You need to stay here.” “I have someone waiting downstairs,” I said. I moved past her before she could take my arm. The elevator was at the far end of the corridor, past the private suites. By the time I got there, I could feel blood soaking into my skirt. I leaned against the wall and pressed the button. Lillian’s door stood open behind me. “Joel, this room is gorgeous.” Lillian laughed. “When I have our baby, I want to stay here again.” “Of course,” he said. “Whatever you want.” When I stumbled in the dressing room, I’d waited for him to ask if I was hurt. I hadn’t realized until now that some part of me was still waiting. Goodbye, Joel. The elevator doors opened. I stepped inside. A black Maybach was waiting at the curb beyond the hospital awning. Brent stepped out and opened an umbrella. Then he saw the blood on my skirt. “Pauline!” He dropped the umbrella, came straight to me, and wrapped his coat around my shoulders. My knees buckled before I could tell him I’d make it to the car. He caught me and lifted me into his arms. “Brent,” I said. “Take me home.” I felt his grip tighten. Then everything went dark. Upstairs, Joel Delgado was peeling an apple for Lillian when his assistant rushed into the suite with a sheet of paper in his hand. “Mr. Delgado. There’s a problem.” Joel kept the knife against the apple. “What is it now?” “It’s your wife, sir.” “Hasn’t she caused enough trouble today?” The assistant dropped to one knee beside the chair and held out the page. “She ended the pregnancy.” The blade slipped. A drop of blood struck the carpet before Joel looked down at his hand. “What the hell did you just say?” “It’s the signer’s copy of the pack acknowledgment,” the assistant said. “Admissions sent it to your household office after the procedure. Look at the heading. It wasn’t for a checkup.” Joel snatched the page. CONSENT FOR LABOR INDUCTION Pauline’s signature was on the patient line. His own slanted across the box marked Family Acknowledgment. He remembered reaching out of the bath and signing where she pointed. “No,” he said. “That’s impossible.” He left the apple on the arm of the chair and ran. At the doors to the procedure ward, he caught a nurse by the shoulders. “Where’s Pauline?” The nurse pulled back. “The induction is over. Ms. Sullivan left the ward a few minutes ago. We told her she needed to stay.” “The baby,” he said. “Where’s my baby?” The nurse glanced toward the service corridor. “The hospital has taken him into its care,” she said. “Ms. Sullivan left the arrangements with us.” Joel looked down the corridor. He remembered telling Lillian she could have the same suite when their baby came. Pauline had already been on this floor. His legs gave way. He sank to his knees with the consent form still in his hand.